Introduction: A short time before her death, Lucille Ball was asked the question on TV, “Lucy, what’s wrong with America?” Lucille replied, “Papa is missing. When Papa was present he knew how to fix things; now that he is absent everything is in a mess and nobody knows how to fix it.” No theologian ever expressed this truth so well.
The family’s the basic building block of all social structures. “As the family goes, so goes all of society, and as the father goes, so goes the family.” Every day 299,000 men become first-time fathers. Men become fathers biologically without any training or instructions on how to be a father. A fool can become a father. William Raspberry, columnist with the Washington Post said, “If I could offer a single prescription for the survival of America, it would be: restore the family. And if you asked me how to do it, my answer would be: save the boys.”[1]
Based on our text, Psalm 112, I want to challenge every father in MMM in 5 specific areas:
- Realize the Power of your Influence in your Home:
- On your wife. Did you know that you wife’s happiness and emotional security in life rests almost entirely on you. Ephesians 5:24 says the husband is the “head” of the wife, which does not mean he has the right to rule over her, but it means he has the responsibility for her total well being. See chapter in Handbook for Mentoring, titled “Mentoring Your Family,” by Thad Faulk.
- On your children. Father figures:
- “Fatherless daughters are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers
- Fatherless daughters are 111% more like to have children as teenagers
- Fatherless daughters are 164% more likely to have an out-of-wedlock birth
- Fatherless daughters have a 92% higher divorce rate than girls raised with Dads in the home.
- Fatherless sons are 35% more likely to experience marital failure
- Fatherless sons are 300% more like to become incarcerated in state juvenile institutions.
- Fatherless sons make up 70% of all juveniles in state institutions.
- Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of high school
- Fatherless children have only half the chance of being high achievers. (According to the National Association Elementary School Principals, 33% of children from two-parent families become high achievers, while only 17% of children from single-parent homes become high achievers.)
- Fatherless children are 50% more likely to have learning disabilities. Ex. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, Fatherless children are anywhere from 100 to 200% more likely to have emotional and behavior problems.
- Fatherless young adults are twice as likely to need and receive psychological help.
- According to our nation’s hospitals, 80% of adolescents admitted for psychiatric reasons come from fatherless families.[2]
Proverbs 17:6 says, “The glory of children are their fathers.” The heart of every boy or girl lies within the hands of their father.
- Reckon with the Pitfalls of Your Masculinity. In their natural bent, men are inclined toward sinfulness and selfishness. Some one has said, “Men are 90% ego wrapped in skin.” Most men think they are Rambo, John Wayne, Chuck Norris, Evil Knievil, and Albert Einstein. Men are also often autocratic, acting like a dictatorial tyrant around the house. Illus.: I saw this on a man’s T-shirt this week: “I decided to be in charge.” Also many fathers are Aloof, Abusive, Angry, and Adulterous.
Perhaps the most devastating sin of fathers is Absenteeism. Irresponsibility and divorce account for much absenteeism of our fathers, but there is an equally serious problem of men being physically present in the home, but spiritually and morally absent. A whole book has been written on the subject, Fatherless America, in which the author decries the millions of “fatherless homes” where fathers are present but will not accept the responsibility of leading the home at all, leaving all that to their wives. Illus. A recent study shows that the average Dad spends 38 seconds a day talking to his children. Did you get that – 38 seconds a day?
Read the following song and weep:
“The Cat’s In the Cradle”, by Harry Chaplin
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way,
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away.
He was talking before I knew it, and as he grew he’d say, ‘You know I’m gonna be like you Dad, you know I’m gonna be like you.
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home Dad, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, Son, you know we’ll have a good time then.
My Son turned 10 just the other day,
He said ‘Thanks for the ball Dad, C’mon let’s play
Can you teach me to throw?’ I said, ‘Not today
I’ve got a lot to do’ He said, ‘That’s OK.’
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
He said, ‘I’m gonna be just like him, you know, I’m gonna be just like him.
He came from the college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say
‘Son I’m proud of you can you sit for a while?’
He shook his head and he said with a smile,
‘What I’d really like Dad is to borrow the car keys,
See you later, can I have them please?’
I’ve long since retired and my Son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day.
I said, ‘I’d like to see you if you don’t mind.’
He said, ‘I’d love to Dad if I could find the time,
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it’s been sure nice talking to you Dad, It’s been sure nice talking to you.
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
My boy was just like me,
He’d grown up just like me.
And the cat’s in the cradle in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home? Dad I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then Dad, You know we’ll have a good time then”
- Rearrange the Priorities of Your Life whatever it costs you. Psalm 112 sets forth three essentials every father should follow:
- A father’s priority should be Jesus Christ. Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Permit me to ask you guys:
- Do you love Jesus Christ with all your heart, soul, mind and strength?
- Do you think about Him more than about sports, your job, pleasure?
- Is Jesus first in your finances?
- Do you talk about Him in your daily conversations?
- Are you seeking to know Him by Internalizing the Word and in prayer?
- A father must “make” time for his family.
- Beware, Guys: Do Not Use Your Family as an Excuse Not to serve Christ as many men do. In Luke 14:26 Jesus said that love for Christ must be so great that all other loves are hatred by comparison (cf. Matthew 10:37). No consideration of family ties must ever be allowed to deflect a disciple from the pathway of obedience. Not only must we love our relatives less, but we must “hate our own lives also.” That is, instead of living self-centered, we must live Christ-centered lives. Instead of asking how our action will affect ourselves and family, we must first be careful to assess how it will affect Christ and His church. Considerations of personal comfort and safety must be subordinated to the great task of glorifying Christ and making Him known. In a word Jesus flatly said that if we do not love Him supremely more than our family and more than our own lives, we could not be His disciples. It is not a matter of either or – either Christ or family – but a matter of both by teaching your family that Jesus is always first and if necessary the family must be willing to sacrifice to make this possible. (See William McDonald, Believers Commentary, pp. 14-15).
Example: One brother dropped out of MM, saying his “family time” came at that hour. What would you say to this good man? Another man quit attending MM because his wife wanted him to stay home with her. What would you say to his good wife? The finest men I know attend MMM and also take care of their families. Congrats., brothers.
- A father must take time to develop his inner character. God commands all three of the above, so no man should say he does not have time to obey these “orders from headquarters.” God will never be so unjust to require something and not give us time to meet that requirement.
- Respond Diligently to Carry Out your Responsibilities.
In Psalm 112, I note that several areas of responsibilities are implied:
- Assume your financial responsibilities. 1 Timothy 5:8, “But if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
- Assume your spiritual responsibilities. Psalm 112:1 begins with these momentous words about the faithful father, “Blessed is the man who fears the Lord and finds great delight in His commandments.” Hey, guys – are you finding great delight in God’s commands today? If so, you are internalizing His Word constantly.
- Assume your responsibilities to your children. Psalm 112:2 describes the greatest single reward of the faithful father, “His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”
- Rely on Two Enabling Dynamic Forces:
- Internalizing the Word
I will know it in my head by diligent study,
I will stow it in my heart by memorization and meditation,
I will show it in my life by obeying its teachings, and
I will sow it in my world by witnessing.
Infilling of the Holy Spirit – Surrender ALL to Jesus.
“Hey, it’s time some of you men had a Wake-Up Call.
- You wife is silently crying for your love and attention.
- Your children are starving for some unconditional love and approval from Dad.
“Hey fellas…we’re losing our families with our heads buried in the sands of “careers” and “busy-ness.”“We better get our heads out of the sand and get back to our wives and children and be men of God.”[3]
I Wish My Dad was a Dog
“One day when Bruce was just a lad, first starting out in school,
He came into my workshop and climbed upon a stool.
I saw him as he entered but I hadn’t time to play.
So I merely nodded to him and said, “Don’t get in the way.”
He sat a while just thinking… As quiet as could be
Then carefully he got down and came and stood by me.
He said, “Old Shep, he never works and he has lots of fun.
He runs around the meadows and barks up at the sun.
He chases after rabbits and always scares the cats
He likes to chew on old shoes and sometimes mother’s hats.
But when we’re tired of running and we sit down on a log
I sometimes get to thinking … “I wish my daddy was a dog.”
Now I know you work real hard to buy us food and clothes.
And you need to get the girls those fancy ribbon bows.
But sometimes when I’m lonesome I think it’d be lots of fun
if my daddy was a dog, and all his work was done.”
Now when he’d finished speaking, he looked so lonely there,
I reached my hand out to him and ruffled up his hair.
And as I turned my head aside to brush away a tear,
I thought how nice it was to have my son so near.
I know the Lord didn’t mean for man to toil his whole life through,
“Come on, my son I’m sure I have some time for you”
You should have seen the joy and sunlight in his eye.
As we went outside to play—Just my son and I.
Now, as the years have flown and youth has slipped away,
I’ve tried always to remember to allow some time to play.
When I pause to reminisce and think of joys and strife,
I carefully turn the pages of this wanderer’s book of life.
I find the richest entry recorded in the daily log,
Is the day that small boy whispered, “I wish my daddy was a dog.”
(Homes of Honor, published by “Today’s Family,” 1482 p.8)¾Lakeshore Dr. Branson Mo., Spring/Summer, 1997
[1] David T. Moore 5 Lies,, Tyndall House Publishing, p. 96, quoted by Jerry Shirley in sermon, “Men Behaving Godly”, sermon central.
[2] Ibid. pp. 89-90, Jerry Shirley
[3] Ibid. sermon central. P. 11