Illus: I read of a young unmarried man who traveled across the country delivering his famous message titled “7 Ways to Rear a Successful Family.” Then one day he married and began to rear children himself. He continued to travel and speak, but he revised his title drastically to these words, “A Few Feeble Remarks to Fellow Strugglers.” Listen, my brothers, when it comes to the marriage, the home, and family, no one has reached perfection and there is always room for improvement.
But brothers one thing is certain: The key to you and me having a successful marriage and rearing our children is the way we treat our wives. A leading educator wrote, “The most important thing the husband can do for his children is to love their mother.”
So today we have come to our Eighth “I” – “The Intense Devotion to One’s Family, especially his wife.” Note the words, “especially his wife. How, then, should the husband treat his wife? The apostle Peter tells us how in 1 Peter 3:7, and he says there are three important things the husband should do:
- The husband should seek to understand the needs of his wife, her strengths and weaknesses, and then meet those needs. Ephesians 5:25 commands that we “love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her,” and Colossians 3:19 commands that “we love our wives and be not bitter toward them.” These are only generic. We must be more specific. Please consult the printed lesson to see the vast areas the husband should know so he can meet his wife’s needs.
- The husband should honor his wife to the fullest extent. Peter gives two reasons for honoring the wife:
- He should honor his wife because she is the weaker vessel. The word, “weaker” refers to her physical stamina, not her intellectual abilities, moral courage or spiritual strength. Women are generally more devoted to Christ than men, and they are able to bear prolonged pain and adversity more than men. My dad used to say, “We would have no more babies born if men had to bear them.” Since the husband is physically stronger, he ought to shoulder the heavier burdens, protect his wife, and not expect her to have the same physical strength as he has. Ex. God has given me phenomenal health. Why? One thing: to take care of my wife. Another: to come alongside men to encourage them to walk with the Lord.
- The second reason he should honor his wife is because she is his equal to him in the sight of God. Peter points out that they are, “heirs together of the gift of life” even as her husband. She has eternal life even as her husband. She possesses spiritual gifts. Note:
- The radical feminists take offense at the word “weaker,” saying this is a put down.
- The feminists say women should play the same role as men.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Women are equal in their personhood with men. At the same time they have different roles to play in their life, though the modern feminist movement is trying to erase that.
- The husband should live with his wife with such devotion that their prayers be not hindered. When there is discord, prayer is hindered. “The sighs of the injured wife come up between the husband’s prayers and God’s hearing. (Biggs)
Dennis Rainey, world expert on the home, says “The most important single thing a couple can do to build a good marriage is to pray together.” Yet, most couples do not do so. Why? Do you? If not, why not?
When, then, is a husband’s prayers being hindered?
- When he does not understand and meet his wife’s needs.
- When he does not honor his wife by treating her as the equal vessel and as being equal with him in God’s sight.
When, then, is a wife’s prayers hindered? When she refuses to accept the husband’s authority in the home.
Thus to a great extent the welfare of your home depends on the husband/wife praying together. Some basic rules should, therefore, be observed:
(1) Maintain absolute honesty in order to have mutual confidence.
(2) Talk things out. Keep lines of communication open.
- Overlook minor faults and idiosyncrasies. Before marriage, open both eyes; after marriage, close one eye.
- Strive for unity in finances.
- Remember that love is a commandment, not an uncontrollable emotion.