In Genesis 2:18-25 we read about the First Marriage, officiated by God Himself. In this passage we observe five Principles which if obeyed will build a happy and enduring marriage and home: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25).
Principle # 1 – Mutual Reception – Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” So God created Eve out of the side of Adam and brought her to him as his “helpmeet,” really his completer. Notice how Adam responded, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” (2:23) When Adam saw Eve he received her as God’s gift to him, even as “one flesh.” Adam did not reject what God had brought to him. He did not say “Take her back and remodel her – she is not what I had in mind.” He did not say, “She is too fat, too tall, too skinny, or has the wrong hair color.” No, Adam received her exactly as God had created her. Did Eve also receive Adam? Absolutely. So Adam and Eve received each other as God’s gift one to the other.
Today many couples do not receive each other. The husband says, “I don’t like my wife and am trying to change her into my image.” Many wives say the same thing. You wife may need changing, your husband may need changing, but you will never change them by rejecting them. But I have good news for you: if you will accept your mate as God’s gift and treat him or her as the Scriptures command, you will see God change him or her as he changes you. Husbands revisit Ephesians 5:25-27 and 1 Peter 3:7; wives, you revisit Ephesians 5:23-24 and 1 Peter 3:1-6.
Illus: When I married Doris, I thought I received her, but later on in life I came to see that I needed to receive her more gratefully and fully. So I re-said my wedding vows in which I said I was receiving her as God’s greatest gift, except salvation, and I pledge to treat her as that Supreme Gift. I would recommend the same to every husband.
Principle #2 – Mutual Sharing – Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Not only was there a leaving but a cleaving. Thus marriage is the first and most important relationship on this earth, except your relationship with Jesus Christ. You are blood kin to your parents, your siblings, your children, but you are only “one flesh” with your spouse. You dare not think any longer of doing your “own thing.” Your “one thing is sharing your life – your time, your money, your love, your counsel – with your spouse. The husbands who say, “Well I have a career and must pour my life into it,” or the wife who says, “I love my kids more than my husband and I’m going to take care of them, and not bother with my husband. Those who follow this route live a miserable life and myriads marriages are ending in divorce.
Illus: Just a word to a husband from a husband: “The most important thing you can ever do for your children is to love their mother.” My oldest child, a 55 year old son and busy doctor, said to me last Christmas, “The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love my wife more than my children.
Principle # 3 – Mutual Completeness – “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” Note the Hebrew word for man and Hebrew word for woman –
Adam had access to all the animals of the world and gave each its name, but he found no critter who could complete him. Adam was incomplete without Eve and Eve was incomplete without Adam. God pronounces the world He created as perfect, except one thing, the aloneness of man without a wife (Genesis 2:18). Then he met that need in the gift of Eve to him and vice versa.
When God brings a husband and wife together they are not two separate individuals – they are one in a miracle wrought by loving and all wise God.
Illus: I never dated but one girl and she was the only girl I wanted to marry. And I am inclined to think that she was the only girl on earth that would marry one so naïve and socially awkward. But she did. And today we know the one we married was and is the “one and only” for us.
Example: Someone said that after Adam and Eve were married, living in the Garden, that Eve turned to Adam and said, “Honey, am I the only woman in your life, or do you have eyes on another?” Adam replied, “No, honey, as far as I am concerned you are the only woman on this earth.” I can’t be sure Adam said this, but I am absolutely sure when I say “Doris is the only woman on this earth – so much that if she precedes me in going to heaven, I will remain single so I can join her again on the other side.
Principle # 4 – Mutual Transparency – Genesis 2:25 says, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” This describes their marriage as totally transparent. There was nothing, physically, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, materially, hidden from one another.
I am afraid that many of us have built walls within our marriages. Husband are not open and honest with their wives; wives are not open and honest with their husbands. How tragic.
For who knows the husband more than anyone on this earth? His wife. And who knows the wife better than anyone in the whole creation? Her husband.
Illus: You know when a marriage is in deep trouble? When a wife feels free to share with another man on the job or across the fence, or telephone, or the man who sits next to her in Sunday School. Or when a husband feels the same. You may say, “Well, if I tell him or her what I think, he or she will not love me or even like me.” No, if they have the love of God, they will love you no matter what you have said and forgive you 490 times – and some. THERE HAS TO BE TRANSPARENCY IN ORDER FOR A MARRIAGE TO LIVE AND FLOURISH.
Principle # 5 – Mutual Commitment – The first marriage was a mutual commitment between one woman and one man. In all the marriage ceremonies I have heard, the couple pledges to remain married “until death do us part.” Not until “debt” do us part, or disagreements “do us part” or “bad feelings do us part,” etc.
What is the situation today? One man said he was mystified by the words in his marriage ceremony which said he was marrying “for better or worse.” But now I understand what they mean: I was not getting married until I could do better. How sad, how sad, how sad. Another guy said, “When I got married I did not understand the words “for better or worse,” but I understand them perfectly now – “You couldn’t have done better – I couldn’t have done worse.”
In our culture we have what the sociologists call “Quickie marriage, quickie divorce.” A biblical marriage says, “Careful marriage, no thought of divorce.”
A word to the singles: Never date anyone seriously that is not a committed believer in Jesus Christ; never marry anyone with whom you will not stay until death do you part. I have just celebrated 58 years of marriage, but do you realize that I could have divorced the first two years of our marriage, if we had not made a life time commitment to marry and stay married?