Alexander Mitserlisch once wrote: “Society has torn the soul of the male, and into this tear the demons have fled – the demons of insecurity, selfishness and despair. Consequently, men do not know who they are as men. Rather they define themselves by what they do, who they know, and what they own.”
The following facts illustrate the spiritual state of American men today. These statistics are from a nationwide survey of a random sampling of 2,000 men.
- Approximately 94 million males are 18 or older
- On a typical weekend about 26 million men attend church services; 68 million do not.
- During a typical week roughly 27 million men read the Bible; 67 million do not.
- One of three men embraces Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; 60 million rely on other means for “salvation”.
- Eighty-five percent of all unchurched men were previously churched.
- Since 1991 church attendance, Bible reading, Sunday School attendance, volunteering at church, and contributions to church have all decreased among men. The proportion of born-again men has remained unchanged.
- From 1992-1996 the average church attendance among men has declined.
What do these statistics say about man and about our need to connect them with God’s life-changing power?
God’s heart is broken over men who:
- Are spiritually lost
- Are caught in cycles of pain, addiction, and sin
- Are confused about masculinity
- Have rejected their commitment to marriage
- Abuse their spouses and children
- Have abandoned their families physically or emotionally
- Have been captured by pornography
- Have been deluded by the pursuit of worldly success
- Have been disillusioned by the false promises of wealth and power
As you read the previous list, think about the men you know. Write beside each category the initials of men who fit that category.
Sixty-eight million men do not attend church. Unchurched men today have the following needs:
- Unchurched men need understanding. They want a church that helps them truly understand the Bible. They want a church that seeks to understand them.
- Unchurched men need relationship. Most men feel lonely, isolated, and disconnected. They would appreciate a church that brings them in contact with like-minded peers in a non-threatening setting.
- Unchurched men need instruction for kids. Millions of men want their kids to have positive Christian learning experiences.
- Unchurched men need solutions. Men are staggered by the pressures they carry. Most men require that the church provide practical, tangible solutions to the difficult problems they face daily. They want to know spiritual principles that make their life “work”. The church must answer the questions men are asking.
- Unchurched men need to know God. Many unchurched men have given up on organized religion but not on God. They want to know God but don’t know how.
It’s becoming clear to men that activities, profession, hobbies, sex, addiction, sports, and traditional church programs cannot fill the void in their lives. Their hunger finds ultimate fulfillment in a pure, right, and intimate relationship with the Heavenly Father, accessed through the life and work of His Son, Jesus Christ. Men are discovering that without this relationship their church attendance, commitments, promises, and good intentions lead to little personal satisfaction. These men need to be confronted with the life-changing grace of Jesus Christ. They need to hear the good news that His power is greater than any problem they face. And they need to understand how they can gain the fulfillment they long for by living and working for His purposes.
What about men who have already accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord? They have daily opportunities to become involved in what He is doing; yet many are hindered by great problems and challenges. A survey of Promise Keepers attendees conducted by the National Center for Fathering, an independent research foundation, revealed that Christian men have a number of deep needs in their lives.
- Christian men are not satisfied with themselves. Forty-four percent would like to change the way they feel about themselves. Forty-three percent feel a deep sense of failure when they think about their past.
- Christian men are not satisfied with their marriages and family lives. Only 25 percent indicate satisfaction with themselves as fathers, while only 62 percent are satisfied with their relationship with their wives.
- Christian men experience stress on the job. Eight-one percent describe their jobs as highly stressful, while 63 percent are concerned about the future health of their careers.
- Christian men struggle with sexual matters. Fifty-three percent admit fantasizing about sex with other women. Fifty-four percent state that they feel shame about past sexual experiences.
- Christian men need relationships with other men with whom they can be open and honest. Seventy-five percent in the survey have feelings they do not share with anyone. Only 35 percent have others to hold them accountable for their sexual thoughts and behaviors.
What other needs would you identify for the men (in your church) that you know?