Mentoring Men for the Master

HOW TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

Life is relationships, first between God and man, and then between man and man.  We see this in the form of the cross:  The upward beam of the cross points toward God – that represents our vertical relationship; the cross piece points toward man and that represents our horizontal relationships with man.  The first four commandments point toward God; the last six point to relationships with human beings.

Since this is true, every Christian man, especially those who have been mentored, needs to build relationships all the time, to make such a lifestyle.  I never thought of such when I first went to college, but then as I continued in graduate school over nine years after college I discovered that one of my primary and most productive ministries was building relationships.  Furthermore, I discovered how I could use this tool in reaching guys for Christ in large number.  Example:  My Sunday School Class of 3335 was built by my relationship through TV, mail, personal visits, telephone calls, now emails galore.

Based prmarily on the way Jesus built relationships  and some from my own experience, I would recommend the following activities in Building Relationships:

  1. Take the initiative to get to know someone – either Christian or non-Christian – beyond acquaintance for the purpose of meeting his personal need and winning him to Christ. Example:  Jesus went way out of His way to meet the Samaritan woman – John 4:4.  Did He succeed?
  2. Relate to people on the level of their own interest. Jesus did this masterfully in the case of the Samaritan woman – John 4:7-15.  Don’t be an egoist who talks about none else but himself.  Talk to the person about themselves and their interests.  By so doing, you turn strangers into friends and friends into mentoring class and you turn from mentoring class to the Savior and then to the church.  Example:  I turned a neighbor into enemy and he never came to church.
  3. Do not allow prejudice to keep you from approaching people. The publicans were members of the IRS of that day, the most hated people on earth, especially by the religious folks.  But Jesus said to a notorious publican, Matthew, “Follow Me and he got up and followed Him” (Matthew 9:9-10).
  4. Make an effort to relate to the “uptey and out” as well as the “down and out.” Example: As a pastor I used to make a point of meeting the Mayor, Fire Chief, Chief of Police, Chairman of the School Board, Leading Judges,  Governor, (Later President of the USA), Congressman, President of  the USA.  I did this while serving Calvary Baptist in Wilmington and they all showed up on “God and Country Day.”  Members asked, “Why did these people come?  They never came before.”  I asked, “Did you ever invite them?”  “No, we never thought of doing so.”
  5. Understand that sharing a meal and picking up the tab is one of the best relationship builders. Jesus again used this method even with a rich man, Zaccheus, who went to his home and he confessed Christ until Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house because he too is a son of Abraham (a real son by the new birth) – Luke 19:9-10.  Application:  For me the sharing of a meal is not primarily a social event but a spiritual encounter.  Where I eat is spiritually significant.  I make a point to know the manager of all the restaurants I attend so I know the manager of Macaroni Grill, Texas Roadhouse, Zoe’s Kitchen, Oceanic, Carabba, Doug’s Deli, Ruth’s Kitchen, Olive Garden, Dock Side, Bento Box, Red Robbin, Chillis, Romonellis’ Mama Fus, Port City Chop House, etc.
  6. Keep a soul book on People you are seeking to build relationships:
    1. List names , telephone numbers, and email and addresses. Call occasionally.
    2. Pray for them by name.
    3. Visit ASAP.
    4. Be sure to pray for waiter or waitress.
  7. Never give up on building a relationship with someone. Jesus never did.  He kept on  pleading with Judas until the last supper, (Matthew 26:23; Mark 14:20; Luke 22:2).  Example:  I did not give up on Doris’ father for 33 years but kept visiting.  I did not give up on Thad Faulk though he shied away from me for four years after I met him.  I have my head full of names I have not given up on.  I kept in touch with Henry Olds for about ten years and one year and half ago he shows up in mentoring school at SHBC.
  8. Use modern technology to make and keep alive relationships, especially email,   Example:  My Assistant in Pastor’s class prepared list of 200 names I called on Saturday evening.
  9. Pray for boldness in talking to people, “And when they had prayed, they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness.” (Acts 4:31).  Also Acts 4:33.
  10. Consider every contact you make “A Divine Appointment” for redemptive purposes.
  11. Obey the Holy Spirit when He impresses you to contact someone – Example: Philip and Ethiopian – Acts 8:27).   Brother Bonkramp in Bangkok.
  12. Last but not Least: Stay in love with Jesus, for loving Him causes you to love others.  Illus:  After Peter denied Jesus three times, Jesus did not ask Him if he loved the sheep, but, “Peter, do you love Me?”  When Peter said, “Yes,” Jesus told him to take care of the sheep (John 21:15).