Mentoring Men for the Master

ANGER – SELFISHNESS ON STEROIDS!

Anger is raging in our world today.  Why?  Occasionally we become angry for a righteous cause (Ephesians 4:26), but 99% of the time we become angry because we are:

  1. SELFISH
  2. IMPATIENT.

And the saddest thing about Anger is it resides behind closed doors of most of our homes.[1]  Many a guy never loses his temper at the office or on the golf course, not even with his secretary, but goes home to unload on his wife and children.  Anger destroys the quality of our personal lives, our health, our marriage, often our relationship with God and others.

Let us, therefore, seek to analyze the Classification, Cause, Cost and Cure of anger:

  1. Classification of Anger – The classification varies from person to person.  Let’s personalize anger by giving it a personal name:
    1. Freddie Flash – It doesn’t take much to set Freddie off. Freddie is “mad at the world.”  He blows minor irritations out of proportions.  He is an angry man looking for a place to explode.
    2. Cary Control – Cary does not explode every day, but when he does, its hell on earth. Afterwards he regrets it and asks forgiveness, only to keep doing so over and over.
    3. Gary Grudge – Never has an outburst, but he seethes with anger on the inside until he burns the lining of his stomach, develops ulcers, has high blood pressure and colitis requiring a doctor’s prescription.

     In summary, Freddie, Cary, and Gary show us the main symptoms of Anger:

  1. Low Flash Point –    Frequency
  2. Losing Control – Intensity.
  3. Holding a grudge – Duration. [2]
  1. Causes of Anger –
    1. Violation of our rights – Most everyone feels he has certain “rights.” An invasion of these rights brings anger.
    2. Disappointment with our position in life.  Many become angry when their “oyster” does not have the pearl they want.
    3. Blocked Goals – when we’re blocked from achieving these, we frequently get angry.
    4. Irritations – “She squeezes the toothpaste from the top, I squeeze from the bottom.”
    5. Feeling Misunderstood – many have a “pity party” of anger.
    6. Unrealistic Expectations – We often expect our friends to do more than they can or will do and we get angry with them.
    7. Physical or Emotional Disorder – I have a pastor friend who was abused as a child by his father and now  has great anger toward his father.
    8. Recurring Frustrations – God has made us for Himself and we are restless until we find our rest in Him – and often angry.
  1. Just Causes for Anger– While anger is generally forbidden, Anger is commanded under extreme circumstances with caution.  “Be ye angry and sin not; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26).

Examples of Just Anger:

  1. Miscarriage of Justice – Abortion should make us righteously angry, for it deprives unborn helpless babies of life. The people of God ought to be filled with righteous indignation.
  2. Mistreatment of innocent children, even animals – I feel angry when I see a father in public abusing his child.  When I see slaughter of innocent people in Syria by the military.
  3. Using “holy” things to make money. Example:  Jesus was angry at the money-changers in the temple.  (Matthew 21;13ff)
  1. Commands Against Anger –
    1. James 1:19-20, “My brothers…BE SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY.” Why? “FOR MAN’S ANGER DOES NOT BRING ABOUT THE RIGHTEOUS LIFE GOD DESIRES.”  “ Angry words are like irretrievable arrows released from an archer’s bow.  Once released, traveling through the air toward their target, they cannot be withdrawn, their damage cannot be undone.  Like the arrows of the archer, our angry words pierce like a jagged blade, ripping at the heart of their target.

When anger pierces the soul of the home, the lifeblood of the family starts to drain away.  You may notice that a secretary seems to find you attractive.  You reflect on how your wife no longer appreciates you.  It never occurs to you that it may be you, that if that secretary knew the real you – the angry you that lives secretly behind the closed doors of your home – she would find you about as desirable as a flat tire.”[3]

  1. Anger is hatred and enslaving – Famed doctor, Dr. S I McMillen, in None of These Diseases, writes,  “the moment I start hating a man, I become his slave.  I can’t enjoy my work anymore because he even controls my thoughts.  My resentments produce too many stress hormones in my  body and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work.  The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery.  Even vacations cease to give me pleasure…The man I hate may be many miles from my bedroom; but more cruel than any slave driver, he whips my thoughts into such a frenzy that my innerspring mattress becomes a rack of torture.”[4]
  2. Warning Scriptures –
    • Proverbs14:17, “A quick-tempered man does foolish things.”
    • Proverbs 19:19, “A hot tempered man must pay the penalty, if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”
    • Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his rage, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
    • Proverbs 22:24, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man… you may learn his ways and get yourself in deep trouble.” 
  1. Control of Anger –
    1. Disabuse yourself of the myth that your anger is uncontrollable.
    2. Dismiss the belief that it is a genetic weakness. Illus: Woman who has red hair.
    3. Accept responsibility for your Anger. Don’t blame mama or anybody else.  It is your wickedness, not weakness.
    4. Admit you cannot handle it.
    5. Be sure you have been born of the Holy Spirit
    6. Surrender your life to Internalizing the Word of God and be filled with the Holy Spirit – the Holy Spirit who gives you self-control – Gal. 5:22-23.

[1] Patrick Morley, Man in the Mirror, p. 263.

[2] Ibid.  pp. 266-267.

[3] Ibid, Moreley, pp. 265-266.

[4] Ibid. Moreley, pp. 273-276